


Christmas greatest hits (Benedict Cumberbatch)

by Gizmomis



Series: Christmas greatest hits [3]
Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom
Genre: Babysitting, Birth, Christmas, F/M, Kids, Love, Presents, Trouble, not wanting kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:25:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gizmomis/pseuds/Gizmomis
Summary: My third Christmas short story collection about Benedict Cumberbatch and his girlfriend Audrey





	1. Stay another day

Baby if you've got to go away  
I don't think  
I can take the pain  
Won't you stay another day  
Oh don't leave me alone like this  
Don't say it's the final kiss  
Won't you stay another day

Don't you know  
We've come too far now  
Just to go  
And try to throw it all away  
Thought I heard you say  
You love me  
That your love was gonna be here to stay  
I've only just begun  
To know you  
All I can say is  
Won't you stay just one more day

Baby if you've got to go away  
I don't think  
I can take the pain  
Won't you stay another day  
Oh don't leave me alone like this  
Don't say it's the final kiss  
Won't you stay another day

I touch your face while you are sleeping  
And hold your hand  
Don't understand what's going on  
Good times we had return  
To haunt me  
Though it's for you  
All that I do seem to be wrong

Baby if you've got to go away  
I don't think  
I can take the pain  
Won't you stay another day  
Oh don't leave me alone like this  
Won't you stay another day

Christmas 2016

I am pacing the floor, once in a while stopping to look over the big flakes of snow falling on a dark London. It is two days before christmas and I am waiting for Ben to come home from his latest movie. It should be a happy time, but I have been thinking a lot while he was gone and made a decision.

It isn't that I don't love Ben, I do and that is why I have to break up with him. I can't give him what he so sorely wants, a family, kids. He has known from the start that I don't want kids. It isn't that I don't like them, I just believe myself to be ill fit mother. My mother honestly was a horrible mother and she has always said it wasn't her fault, she learned from her mother, my grandmother. So I am doomed in that area and I don't want any kids to suffer through a childhood like mine.

But Ben want kids. I think he has been hoping these past 10 months we have been together that I would change my mind with time. And I can see how his baby watch is ticking. Every time we are with Tom and Stellas kids he lights up and turn into silly uncle Ben and they adore him. And filming the last season of Sherlock he wanted to steal away the baby playing Martin and Amanda's daugther.

He has been away for almost 7 weeks and he has been sending me a lot of photos of him with the kids that plays his kids in the new movie. This man want kids so badly and I can't give them to him, so better we part our ways.

When I stop in front of the window again, I see a cab pull up in front of the house. A dark figure getting out. He grabs his suitcase and pulls up the collar of his jacket, wading through the snow.

"Audrey are you here darling". I hear his warm deep voice call from the hall, even before he has closed the door.

I walk out into the hallway just as he throws his jacket on the chair as always, no matter how many times I tell him to hang it up. He shakes the snow from his hair. It is to the longer side and dyed dark brown right now, and the water from the snow makes it curl slightly. "I'm right here Ben".

He just hold out his arms and I can't help it. I throw myself into his embrace, accepting his kiss. Kissing him back like it is the last kiss ever and it might very well be.

"What is wrong honey-pie ? Have something happened ?" He ask. Those incredible eyes gazing into mine. His thumb running over my bottom lip.

I take a deep breath, but then kind of chickens out. "Have you talked to Tom lately ? Stella just found out that she is pregnant again".

"No, I hadn't. Well good for them, Tom has to be absolutely stoked" he says, looking happy for his friend. Just like Ben, Tom adore kids and would probably have ten if Stella let him.

I shake my head. "Well Tom might be happy, but Stella isn't happy. She is already stressed out and Tom is leaving for almost 3 months here in january. She is not sure she wants to keep it".

"What ? I thought she loved being a mom". Ben looks absolutely shocked. "How can she even think about doing that to Tom, it will crush him".

"Well she is not doing it to Tom". I don't know it just rubbed me the wrong way. "A woman has a right to decide over her own body, we are not just birthing machines you know. Maybe I just don't want kids".

He looks at me, his eyes getting that sad look. "This isn't about Tom and Stella is it ? This is about you and me ?"

"Ben you knew from the beginning that I don't want kids". The tears starts running down my cheeks. "You clearly do and I don't want to be in the way of that. Ben it is better for both of us if we just end it here".

He just stands there, totally frozen. I look at him waiting for a response. But when he still says nothing I nod. "I will go pack up what I need and go stay with Tom and Stella okay ?"

Then he moves, grabbing for me. He takes my hands falling to his knees. "Please baby, don't leave me alone like this. Don't say that was our final kiss. Please stay. I love you. We have come to far to just throw it away like this".

"Ben stop please". I beg him, tears streaming down my face. I hate seeing him like this, begging me. "I just want you to be happy and have a family".

He looks up at me, tears welling up in his eyes. "You are much more important to me. If you leave me, I don't think I can take the pain. Please stay.. just stay through christmas and if you still want to leave me when we reach new years eve, I will let you go".

"Ben !" But as I look into those beautiful eyes, seeing the glimmer of hope there, knowing I will crush that out with a no, I simply can't. "Okay then, I will stay for christmas".

He gets up, hugging me tightly to him, like he is afraid I will disappear if he lets me go. "Thank you honey-pie. I will do everything to make you see that you are the most important thing to me".

 

6 days later  
"Ben you can't leave me alone with them". I look at him in panic. Tom and Stella just came with the girls an hour ago. We are watching them till tomorrow so they can enjoy a night of. "Then you have to call Tom to pick them up".

Ben looks at me. He has been as sweet as he can possibly be over the Christmas. Spoiling me in every way possible. "Honey-pie they really need a break and it will only be an hour, two tops. Karon just need to talk to me about some interviews and things regarding the new Sherlock season".

"Okay. I guess I can do it. But please hurry back Ben, I am just not cut out for this, you know that". I look at the two little girls on the floor. They are totally adorable and sweet kids. But Sadie is only 4 months, caring for her scares me the most.

He kisses my forehead softly. "You underestimate yourself my love". He says softly. Then he kisses both the girls on the top of their head, telling them to behave, before heading out.

I sit there totally stiff. Staring at the girls. What if I do something wrong ? What if I end up hurting them ? What if I can't do this. Ben is usually the one doing all the practical stuff when we watch them.

After having looked at them for twenty minutes, Molly comes over, crawling up into my lap. "Auntie Auri, read". She says handing me a book. She can't really say my name yet.

"Okay sweetie". I say and start to read. This is okay. This I can handle. And she seems to like me reading to her. Snuggling into me.

But then ten minutes later Sadie starts crying on the floor. Shit, what is wrong with her ? Molly holds her nose, pointing to her little sister. "Smells".

And now I can smell it too. Oh no I have never changed a diaper in my life. But well I have no choice, because she can't wait for Ben to come home. So I get the diaper bag and put out the underlay thing, gently lifting Sadie up on it. "Okay Sadie, sweetie, you and me are going to do this".

 

3 hours later  
I hear the door open, and Ben's breathless voice. "Honey-pie, Audrey, were are you. I am so sorry. It took much longer than expected. I didn't see the time. Please forgive me".

"Living-room and keep you voice down". I call back in a low voice, not wanting to disturb the baby in my arms.

Ben walks in and stops, looking utterly shocked. I am sitting in the arm chair. Sadie in my arm, sucking on her bottle, but she is already more or less asleep. I look at him and he bites his lip, his voice emotional. "This has to be the most beautiful sight I ever saw".  
"Oh bullocks". I say but I can't help smiling at him. And he comes over, squatting down next to me. Gently running his thumb over the babies cheek.

He suddenly look around. "Where is Molly ? I am so sorry for leaving you this long, I didn't expect for it to take this long. Have you been okay ? Is there anything that needs done ?"

"Molly is sleeping in her bed, both girls are fed and changed, and this one is ready to be layed down too. So no everything is under control". I say smiling at him, as I place the bottle on the table and get up.

I put the sleeping baby down in her travel bed and as I watch her sleep I feel Ben's arms slide around me. He whispers in my ear with a deep husky voice. "Is it weird that seeing you this maternal is a total turn on ?"

"Maybe a bit". I turn, putting my arms around his neck. "But I have been thinking Ben, this evening really opened my eyes".  
He looks a bit nervouse and scared and I lean in whispering in his ear. "What about you take me to bed and we have a go at making one of those". I nod toward the sleeping kids.

His mouth falls open and he just stares at me, like he is sure he has totally lost it, making me smile. "Yes Ben I did say that. I.. I realised I am not my mother, just because she was a bad mom I don't have to be".

He sweep me up into his arms, kissing me. He mumbles against my lips. "Thank you darling, you don't now how happy this makes me".

"Well that thing poking my hip gives me a pretty good idea". I say grinning. I couldn't be more happy that I choose to stay for christmas.


	2. “Such a big crowd and alarm”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a sweet christmassy chapter

Such a big crowd and alarm,  
It's cold and you have to get warm.  
The light turns on at four o'clock,  
It's going to be evening very soon.  
In the middle of the street are trees and fruit sold,  
See the store where it shines beautifully!  
Goods can be obtained in thousands,  
Just think, under purchase price.  
price, price, price, price, price, price,  
Just think, under purchase price,  
price, price, price, price, price, price,  
Just think, under purchase price!

Decorated beautifully by an invisible hand  
stands the tree there with light and ribbon.  
The door opens and you enter,  
The circle ends with excited mind.  
The kids, they jump off quickly,  
grandfather, he is also involved  
let's take part in their song,  
brothers, we were also children sometime.  
time, time, time, time, time,  
brothers, we were also children sometime,  
time, time, time, time and time  
brothers, we were also children sometime.

Christmas eve, oh where are you good  
then all people must haverice porridge  
the fritters is diligently turned,  
The goose roast is sent to the baker.  
The farmer sits early at his dish,  
bless the blessing of God for food;  
The link dog itself gets double food,  
It must also know it's Christmas.  
christmas, christmas, christmas, christmas, christmas, christmas,  
It must also know it's Christmas,  
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas  
It must also know it's Christmas.

When you are not a lazy body,  
is it up early this morning?  
The bells are chiming, the street is so slippery,  
The church lights in the silent night.  
Inside is the song and festive peace,  
and you feel so well,  
most often when the prank does not last  
because you get a little nap!  
nap, nap, nap, nap, nap, nap,  
for then you get a little nap,  
nap, nap, nap, nap, nap, nap  
for then you get a little nap.

You who gave us the beautiful feast,  
What's going on, you know best.  
However, I have the hope that before I die  
you do not refuse me a favor:  
Just turn the universe all around,  
just turn up and down on all things,  
the earth with, - for it is fake and hollow  
just do not touch my old christmas!  
Christmas, christmas, christmas, christmas, christmas, christmas,  
just do not touch my old christmas!  
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas  
just do not touch my old christmas!

December 2017  
"Watch out darling. We don't want you falling in you condition". I say with a chuckle, taking a hold of Audrey's arm. The sidewalk is slippery in places and I don't want her to fall.

She looks up at me. She is gloving in the light from the street lights and christmas decorations. The slowflakes getting caught on her long dark lashes. "Always so protective Ben. I am pregnant not disabled you know".

"I just don't want any of you hurt". I say softly. I can't believe we have come this far. Last christmas she almost left me because she felt she held me back not wanting children. Now we are expecting our first child, right around christmas eve.

She looks at the shining windows, decorated for the holidays and to make us spend all our money on friends and family. "Actually I could use a bit of a break, it is a bit hard walking around this long".

"Say no more, I know a great cafe right around the corner". We are out doing the last christmas shopping, walking the snowy streets of the christmas ready London. It is a cold day and I could use something warm.

I lead her to the cafe and gets her seated at a table with all our bags. Before going to the counter and getting us something to drink. Watching her while I wait. I smile to myself, knowing I found the other half of me and I plan to marry her as soon as possible. i just need to find the right way to propose.

"Here you go. Their famous hot peppermint chocolate". I put the big mug down in front of her and she sends me a grateful smile, folding her hands around it.

We sit in silence for a bit, sipping the warm drink. Then she bite her lip, looking up at me. "So what is Tom going to do ? I know he has something planned for christmas, but he wont tell me".

"He is probably afraid you will tell Stella and ruin it". I say grinning, I know all about Tom's plans and I really hope he pulls it of. "So sorry but I can't tell you".

She rolls her eyes, but send me a smile. "Well no matter what, I have a feeling it will work. Stella misses him and after that scare with Sadie, she says she realised how he has always been her rock".

"Do you think she should forgive him ? I mean what he did.. Tom is my friend but he really screwed up badly". I say.  
Audrey takes my hand. "I know he did something really bad. But I also know Tom, he is a good guy and he really loves his family. So yeah I think she should forgive him".

"So if I did something like that, you would forgive me ?" I say in a teasing voice. I would never as much as consider it.  
She squeezes my hand hard, making me whimper. "Oh no, do that Benedict and you would find yourself wishing you were dead".

I chuckle and she sends me the sweetest smile. She truly has nothing to fear. This amazing woman rules my heart, my body and my soul.

"Come on darling. Unfortunately we still has a lot of shopping to do". I say, helping her to her feet and offering her my arm. And we venture back out onto the busy streets of London.

As we walk by the church the bells starts chiming and then the choir starts singing, and she squeezes my arm, looking up at me with shining eyes. "Oh ain't it beautiful Ben ?"

"It really is my love". I say softly, and can't resist bending down to kiss her softly, feeling the showflakes melt on our faces.  
I can't wait for next year when we will have a little happy baby to spoil at christmas. I can't wait to tell my kids, oh yeah I definately want at least two, about christmas and see the happiness on their faces when they see the presents under the tree and all the treats. I smile to myself at the thought.

"Ben what are you thinking about ?" Audrey asks me softly, reaching up to gently cup my cheek. "You looked like a kid christmas morning".

I bite my lip and smile back at her. "Well maybe that is excatly what I felt like. And I can't wait to share christmas with our kids".

"Kids ? So you are planning more before the first has even arrived ?" She say, rubbing her belly through her winter coat.  
I just nod, placing my hand on top of hers. "Yeah, I always wanted a big family, but I am grateful no matter what".

"Well lets see you might be able to convince me. But lets take one thing at a time". She laces her fingers with mine, pulling me with her down the street.

I am sure she will be convinced, but first we need to get this years christmas shopping done. And hope that the baby either decides to arrive before christmas or wait till boxingday.


	3. A child is born in Betlehem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Audrey welcome their baby

A child is born in Bethlehem,  
Bethlehem,  
for joy pleases Jerusalem  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

A poor virgin sat in pay,  
sat in pay  
and gave birth to the king's son.  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

He was placed in a crib,  
In a crib,  
The angels of God sing with joy about it.  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

And the eastern wise men sacrificed there,  
Sacrificed there,  
Gold, incense and myrrh cut.  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

The disappearance is now all our distress,  
all our distress,  
us today is a savior's birth.  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah!

God's dear children we were renewed,  
was renewed  
is going to have christmas in heaven city.  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

On star roses bright blue,  
Bright blue,  
shall we gladly to church go.  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah!

The angels of God who teach us abundantly,  
learn abruptly,  
to sing as they sang tonight.  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

Then we were angles we like them,  
we like them,  
The mild face of God we shall see.  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

Him be a prize forever,  
forever,  
for savior bold and brother gentle!  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah!

 

Christmas 2017

 

“We shouldn’t have gone out in this weather Ben”. I tell him, watching the snow hurl past the windows outside the car. “We should have waited to go tomorrow”.

He gribs the steering-wheel tighter and makes a face. “I know Audrey, but to late to turn around. We might as well just go on til we reach mom and dad’s place”.

I am feeling a bit on edge, cradling my round pregnant stomach. It is the evening of december 24th and my due date. I have had a slight murmuring in my lower back all day and I got this feeling that we might not make it through tomorrow before our little bundle of joy will announce his arrival.

“Watch out !” I scream as something suddenly appear right in front of us on the icy road and Ben steps on the break to avoid the donkey. What the hell is a donkey doing right there ?

The car starts sliding and as I see the donkey galloping away I see the snow filled ditch on the come towards us at what seems like lightning speed. 

I hear Ben curse and myself scream as we smash into the ditch, snow flying everywhere. I slam forward in the seatbelt, feeling the air bag smash into me. For a moment there is an eerie silence, then I hear Ben’s frantic voice. “Audrey baby are you okay ?”

“I am fine Ben, or I think I am at least”. I turn my head to look at him. He got a slight bump forming on his forehead. “Are you okay ?”

He nods and makes a face. “Yeah it is nothing. But we are not going anywhere in this car”. He looks out through the windscreen, my gaze following his. The front of the car buried in the ditch.

“Maybe my father can come get us, I just need to know were we are”. Ben says, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening his door. “Just relax darling and I take a look to see if there is anything recognisable nearby he can guide after”.

I watch Ben get out of the car and walk around. Suddenly I feel my legs getting wet and I look down in panic. Is the water in the ditch ? And then it hits me and I call out. “Ben ! Fuck get over here Ben”. 

He don’t hear me and I have to roll down the window and call for him three times before he hears me and come running. “What is it darling ? Are you hurt anywhere ?”

“Ben my water just broke”. When he looks totally lost I point to my stomack. “The water broke, the baby is coming, like now Ben”.

He clasp a hand over his mouth. “Shit, shit, shit.. I saw a house just across this field. It is only like a 5 minutes walk. That is probably the best place to go”.

As I am not about to give birth in a cold car and Ben helps me from the car just as the first contraction hits and I have to lean on him gasping. “Fuuuuck that hurts”.

We slowly make our way across the field, what should have been a 5 minute walk ends up being almost 15 minutes as we have to stop at every contraction so I can cling to Ben, panting through the pain.

When we finally reach the house we just stare. “Oh bullocks, it’s a barn.. just a fucking barn with no people in sight”. Ben curses.

“Well we should get inside”. I say looking around, the storm is getting bad. “And then call for an ambulance. First time births usually takes hours, so they should easily get here in time”.

Ben gets me inside and luckily the barn is sturdy and not to cold. There is some bales of straw and Ben opens one, spreading a big blanket he finds over it. Helping me to lay down before calling for an ambulance, explaining what happened.

“Ben help me get my leggings of, they feel so constricting”. I just get this feeling of being choked and those wet leggings just need to go now. Ben holds the phone to his ear with his shoulder, talking to someone at the other end while helping me. It is such a relief to let my legs fall open, being able to breathe again.

Ben gets a bit pale, then he looks at me. “Uhm darling is it okay for me to look down there ? They say I should chech how dilated you are”.

I just nod, I mean he has looked there a lot of times at with the waves of pain going through me I am to focussed on breathing to care. He gently places a hand on my knee and moves my dress up to get a better look.

He gasps out loud. “Uhh I don’t know how dilated she is, but does it mean something that I can see hair ? I mean like in baby hair”.

“What do you mean, I have to deliver the baby ? Ohh no I can’t. Can’t I just push it back inside till someone professional arrives ?” He looks white as a sheat and I break into giggles getting a glare from him.

He takes a deep breath, listening to the phone, again held to his ear by his shoulder. Then he looks at me. “Okay darling, seems like we have to do this on our own. When you feel an urge to push, just go with it and push wit everything you got”.

I am scared right now, I mean you are not supposed to give birth alone in a barn, it is something you do in a hospital with trained professionals helping. But actually Ben is doing a great job calming me. He keeps telling me I am doing great and that it will be okay.

“Come on darling, one more push and he will be out.. give it everything you got. You are doing soo good”. He says, his eyes shining with excitement.

And I do my very best, hearing a scream as Ben Pulls something up into his arms. Tears streaming down his face. “Welcome to the world little man, we are so happy to see you”.

“Come say hallo to your mother”. He gently ease the pink and slimy bundle into my arms and I look at the screaming bundle, flailing his little arms and screaming up a storm and I feel my heart expand, feeling a kind of love and an urge to protect I have never felt before.

I cuddle him to me, feeling my own tears spill down my face, as Ben takes of his expensive coat, wrapping it around us, to keep our son warm. I kiss the top of his little head cooing. “Shh mommy got you”.

“See you already has that being a great mother thing figured out”. Ben says kissing me softly as our little son stops crying and snuggles into my warmth.

Ben finishes his phone call, looking at me. “Don’t worry, the ambulance will be here in a minute and we will go getting you both looked over”.

“Thank you Ben, for being my rock through this. I know it must have been scary for you too”. I say softly, smiling at him.  
He just smile back, and then I see one of those glimpses run over his face.. one that mean trouble. “Hey we should name him Jesus. You know we got a donkey kind of bringing us to a barn, all we need is a manger and 3 wise men”.

“Well I don’t know about wise but maybe we are usable”. The door opens and a doctor step inside with 2 paramedics.   
I glare at Ben as the doctor take our son to give him a quick examination. “No Ben, we are not calling him Jesus”.

The doctor hands me back my son. “He looks perfectly healthy. Seems like you both did a great job here. Now lets get you all to the hospital”.

As we are loaded into the ambulance I sigh, well at least this Christmas will never be forgotten. Ben sits down, smirking at me. I still think we should go with Jesus”.


End file.
